WHY WOMEN DO NOT LEAVE
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Women may think that it is hard to leave because they:

• are not sure if they can stay in Canada
• are not sure if they can get financial help
• are afraid that their husband will get back at them
• are not sure if they will get support from their community
• do not know who to turn to
• are concerned about where to live and how to support themselves and their children

At some level, a victim weighs the relative costs and benefits for him/herself. Usually this process is not organized or conscious. He/she may have thoughts that:

If I leave:

• I may get sent back to my home country.
• I may not be able to get financial help from the government.
• My community will isolate me.
• He may find me and be more violent.
• He may hurt other people.
• I'll have to give up my home, all my things and my financial security.
• I'll be able to live free of violence, if he doesn't come after me.
• My children will no longer be exposed to violence.
• I will be totally responsible for the children and myself.
• I'll have to admit my marriage failed.
• Where will we live?
• Who will I go to for support?
• I might have to move to another community.

If I stay:

• They say the violence will get worse, but in our case it won't.
• The children are living through this.
• The children will have food, education and the things that they need.
• I still have the house, my things and financial security.
• I am married.
• I have some support.

Women may see themselves in a cycle of abuse.

Learn more about COSTI’s women’s services, and
other programs available at COSTI.